A divorce can be incredibly difficult for the whole family, especially children who may pick up on the tension but not understand what is going on or what life will be like after their parents end their marriage. If you are planning on filing for a divorce, there is a good chance that you are emotionally and mentally drained, but how you react to the divorce process and the way you interact with your kids can make a big difference in how they adjust to a new type of normal. Use the following tips to make a divorce as easy as possible for your children:
Make Sure Your Kids Know That the Divorce is Not Their Fault
Young children typically do not have the reasoning skills to completely understand why the divorce is happening, and it is not uncommon for a child to think that he or she may be responsible due to bad behavior or other factors. It is very important to let all of your kids know that the divorce is not their fault. Be available to listen to their concerns and answer any questions that they may have.
Never Make One of Your Children a Messenger
Many spouses have negative feelings towards each during a divorce, but the kids should never be put in the middle of things. Avoid asking any of your children to pass along messages to your soon-to-be ex-- contact a family law attorney, like Gearing Rackner Engel And McGrath LLP, if you need information passed on to your spouse.
Don't Fight in Front of the Kids
Divorce is hard enough for kids-- try not to make it more stressful by fighting with your spouse in a place where your children can hear. It is best to talk about disagreements when you and your spouse are alone, or allow your attorneys to take care of any issues regarding custody, child support, or division of assets.
Agree to Co-Parent
One of the very best things that you and your spouse can do during a divorce is agree to co-parenting as peacefully as possible. Put aside any issues that the two of you may have, and do whatever you can to ensure that your children have happy childhoods. Good co-parenting will most likely help kids adjust to the divorce faster and also ensure that they know that both you and your spouse are on the same page about expectations and discipline.