All In The Nest: Divorce, Bird's Nest Style
It can be tempting to put divorce off for parents who are concerned about the effect it will have on their child. The desire to keep the child in a single secure place while still allowing equal access to both parents has resulted in a fairly new form of parenting after a divorce, nesting.
What is meant by nesting?
This plan has the child living full-time in the main family home, preferably the same home they are accustomed to. The parents then take turns living with the child in that home part of the time and living the rest of the time in another place. Often the other place turns out to be an inexpensive, small apartment but it can be almost any space that the parents can afford, is relatively close by and that the parents agree upon.
Alternately the parent could stay with a friend or family member instead of renting a place. The time spent with the child and away from the child depends on individual needs, but it might be by the week or every two weeks.
Making the plan
This sort of plan requires more organization and financial arrangements than shared or joint custody, so you and your spouse must get along well enough to work together. You both will have to agree on time divisions, holidays and birthdays, how to pay for the other living space and more.
While it might seem a more expensive parenting option that is not necessarily so. You and your spouse may be dividing the cost of two homes with one of them being inexpensive instead of each one of you having to pay a high cost for two homes that would be suitable for a child.
Some other points to consider are that this arrangement:
1. Could end up being less expensive if the other living space is cheap.
2. Allows the parents more time to make a decision about where to live, selling the family home, etc.
3. Lets the child stay in the family home that they are familiar with and with the same school, friends and so on.
4. Causes less chaos in the life of the child by not having to move back and forth between two homes.
5. Older children may feel less embarrassed about the divorce situation at a time when almost everything has that potential.
6. You can put off having to divide the home furnishings or the decision on selling the home, which can be particularly useful if the real estate market is cool.
Nesting is not right for everyone. Speak to your divorce attorney or law firm like Armstrong Betker and Schaeffer PLC to learn more.